The Agent Form

[Cross-posted with my blog over at MySpace]

There's nothing more frustrating to me than agents who can't take a sentence to give the author an indication of why their work was rejected. I understand why they don't want to, considering the looney tunes out there who rip an e-mail off blasting them for their obvious lack of literary skills (which would include finding their book the best thing since sliced bread).

But there has to be something more than "Not right for me" or "Sorry, not interested."

Heck, one of them told me "Not enthusiastic about the premise." That at least is something to work with...

Maybe I should include a small checkbox postcard with the following options, to make it easier on the agents in question to reject my work:

[ ] I know my requirements include science fiction, but space opera? Puh-leeeze! Everyone knows that's not REAL science fiction.
[ ] Space pirates? Puh-shaw!
[ ] Isn't this like Battlestar Galactica, when Luke Skywalker saves Captain Picard from falling into a Reaver ambush?
[ ] 57,000 words? Look us up when you break the 80,000 mark.
[ ] Oh, darn it...maybe we should update our submission guidelines. Science fiction just isn't where it's at anymore.
[ ] Mostly dialogue and action, very little description? Don't you know that's against the rules?
[ ] You start off with a dream sequence? Don't you know that's against the rules?
[ ] A male protagonist trying to save the female lead? Don't you know that's against the rules?
[ ] Did we mention how droll space pirates are?

So, hopefully, this will help...now to figure out a way to pop it into the e-queries I send out...