Finally got back into the swing of some new material this past week (while traveling), so decided to post up some more first draft material from one of the short stories I'm currently working. Aston is back, in the preliminarily-titled "Supply and Demand" Again, all the usual warnings about first draft material, but here's the snippet:
“This is our last load of equipment,” Jeanie reminded me. “Do we have a destination following this, so I can prepare our flight plan?”
There was something to be said about having steady, repetitive income like I had been recently. On the flip side, I remembered why it was I’d gotten out of the scheduled cargo ship pilot business so long ago in the first place. The monotony of it all nearly had me yanking my hair out.
A thick, green line shot across the viewscreen past us, moments before I was thrown against my seat as we jolted off to one side. A curse flew from my lips, before I called out, “Jeanie, status!”
“An energy pulse originating from the planet narrowly missed us. It appears someone is attacking us.”
So much for monotony.
Hope you enjoyed it, and again, I always enjoy your comments! And here's hoping I finish this one before long so I can get it out for publication.
Well he can't complain he's bored now! :D
ReplyDeleteNope, Aston never stays bored long. Either things start to pick up, or he drinks himself to sleep. ;-)
ReplyDeleteAlways action oriented and interesting scenarios. Too many commas, but that's an editing thing (like you said, first draft ;). Good job.
ReplyDeletePlus, we're limited to 10 sentences...hee hee. :-)
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed it!
Monotony is only relaxing for so long anyway. ;) The smoothness from which you transition from a calm scene to action is awesome. It's seamless. Makes for good reading.
ReplyDeleteI think it was Sun Tzu who said it best: Careful what you wish for!
ReplyDeleteI think Aston just wishes he had a boring life. Unfortunately, it's not in the cards for him. Oh well, who said being a space pirate wasn't a little fun, right? Great snippet!!
ReplyDeleteBoredom causes so many problems, especially in my games. Never tell me you're bored during one of my games! That's the best way to get a highly-challenging random encounter. And when I say highly-challenging, I mean the party's survival rate plummets.
ReplyDeleteAhh Jeanie, always a master of the obvious. Maybe that's just the planet's friendly way of saying "Hello, please prepare for docking sequence."
ReplyDeleteI don't think Ashton's cut out for a steady, boring job.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jalisa! I find quick transitions are the best.
ReplyDeleteCary, sounds about right.
TK, I just think Aston will be disappointed in life regardless of whether he's having a boring time or too much excitement. :-)
Patrick, sounds about like how I write my stories and novels. :-D
Sue Ann, I have to agree.
At least he's not bored! Boredom leads to nothing but trouble, anyway.
ReplyDeleteNice snippet.
Now he'll be pulling his hair out for other reasons! Nice final line of the snippet. =)
ReplyDeleteThanks to everyone for stopping by and commenting! :-)
ReplyDeleteAston's as likely to find monotony as he is monogamy.
ReplyDeleteSee, you think it and it shall come. Never ask rhetorical questions or complain of boredom. :-)
ReplyDeleteHee hee...that's likely true for both of your comments, Misa and Angelia. :-)
ReplyDelete